Film Review - Sorority Row 2009

Ok here it goes, watched this film the other day, one word can sum it up, and excuse my language, WANK.

This film was terrible, not only does it lack in a strong storyline the actors were worse than primary school actors. seriously extremely dissapointed about this film.

I'll now run through it quicky and point out all the bad points and any good points I can think of.

So at the start, the film already is just boring, long intro sequence of a party going on not much to see, then it introduces the characters in a very bizarre manner, just basically, the characters are explaing why they love eachother etc. Then the horror kicks in, they try to play a prank on someone by faking a girls death and blah blah blah, at this point you think it could be good but then the real horror ( which is the storyline + filming of this film )kicks in. they started scaring this boy sayin "o we killed her we need to cut her up etc" so the lad not knowing what hes doing goes to cut her up with a car tool? makes no sense that he used that also no sense that he goes straight for the chest, so now bad joke ends in tragedy one dies, they throw her body in a well to hide it etc but during that scene no seem to realise they killed someone, they acted like they just seen a dead pigeon rather than a human, extremely bad acting apart the geek who managed to squeeze out a drop of tear.

What I particularly dislike is the blonde one aka the bitch, her acting is that bad and cheesey it makes cheddar smells like flowers. no one ever in history could really act as calm as she did when seeing a person die, not only that, she manages to squeeze some sarcasm into it.

anyway, all goes well they hide the body, say that the dead girl just went missing and managed to stay out of prison. they all get boyfriends, some of them tell them and so on so secrets not only between the girls now.

story goes on, people dying, they think its girls ghost blah blah blah, obviously not, they then introduce the dead girls sister... woah! person who most likely been taking revenge? well you would like to think that but it ends up being a twat who goes out with one of the girls, and cause he dont want her get caught he starts killing people off...NO ONE EVEN BROUGHT THE EVENT UP FOR A WHOLE YEAR TILL THAT DOUCHE BAG STARTED KILLING PEOPLE! totally uncalled for.

Another bad thing bout the acting is that I reckon all the actors were failed models since they refuse to walk like normal human beings, they all had to do the whole cat walk thing where they put one foot right in front of the other and shake their hips about etc. ok its sexy, but really no need, especially when they're walking on their own with noone around. second the obligatory showing of the boobs! not that the male species will mind at all seeing that but its irrelevent to the plot! its almost as if they put it in just to attract the men to watch, but let me tell you now, I would rather watch a dog doing it with a tree than watch that again!

now it comes to the climax most people dead, killed with the tool they first killed the girl at the start with...dunno why they had to use that becuase first it dont have any relevant and second he altered it so it had knives and hooks! WTF?

and also seem to have an unlimited supply of them too, he also throws them like batman which pissed me off immensly.

so they reveal who it is all the girls are shocked and the guy now wants to kill them all off, so he runs around and all this jazz and the owner of the house, an old lady comes through with a gun and starts acting liek rambo! that part just made me cringe.

so the old woman dies and the house is on fire, and the actors still doesnt see it as a problem, with the floors collapsing they still yet to reveal any fear, only calmly saying to eachother "we need to get out" for fuck sake the house is on fire! the floors are crumbling! at least act scared.

now the guy falls through you think he dies and blah blah blah, house explodes and burn to the ground o and the worst is just now. 3 girls, model like, not much clothing strutting out of the house, everything slows down just seeing these 3 attractive girls come strollling through, THEY NEARLY JUST DIED, HOUSE BEHIND THEM IS ON FIRE! any fucker with common sense will run. And yes I was swearing alot whlist watching this!

so right at the end the next year party is on and you see a hand with the same tool walk into shot only bearing a few scars....omg....hes a alive *clap* clap *clap* did not see that coming.

no offense but shit like this should not be allowed to be shown, the camera shots were nothing special, most of them were hand held, seems like they have tripod-aphobia! poor lighting, nothing special about the sound or sound effects, bog standard suspense and ambient backgroudn noises, the supsense was also appauling, didnt even make me jump and I jump easily!

in general terrible film if the cast, or filming crew ever get to read this then it is my pleasure to tell you that you suck!

I'm too angry to write reviews haha